Lord of the Flies

Over the past couple of days, I've noticed that my apartment has been plagued by an evil fly that buzzes around like he owns the place. Bees buzz. Flies fly. Who does this fly think he is? He drives me absolutely insane, but he never stays in the same place long enough for me to swat at him and it doesn't help that I do not currently own a fly swatter.

Anyways, I returned tonight from a fun and relaxing day at the beach to find that the fly had taken over my bedroom! I decided that I had had enough of his antics and began chasing him around the room. I closed the door to my bathroom and began chasing him with a tissue in hopes that I could squish him. I even turned on the ceiling fan to confuse him and to throw off his fly-balance.

I think I was tiring more quickly than the stupid fly. I was chasing him around and getting nowhere. I even managed to hit him a couple of times, but he seemed to be practically invincible. Eventually, I decided that I would open the bedroom door in an attempt to just get him out of my room. I reasoned that if he would just leave my bedroom, I would not try to kill him...a compromise. Guess what! The stupid fly teased and provoked me even further. He would fly out of the door and just as I go it almost closed, he would pop back in.

He did this a couple of times before I gave up. I decided that I needed to take drastic measures. I grabbed an old magazine and began swatting at the stupid fly, not giving him a chance to land. I was beginning to think that this fly was actually some kind of governmental surveillance technology. The fly actually seemed to be smarter than me, and I couldn't take him down! Eventually, I discounted this idea, but I think the fact that I considered it for a moment attests to the fact that this was no ordinary, stupid fly. That and the fact that I was (am) very sleepy at the moment.

Finally, I left him alone and he must have been slightly tired, because he quickly landed on the blinds. Slowly, I sneaked up on him and struck quickly with the magazine. Success! I managed to debilitate the fly to the point that he was no longer able to fly and I could scoop him up and flush him down the toilet.

My fly swatting skills obviously need work, but I was pretty proud of having rid myself of such a nuisance. It was amidst this slightly proud feeling that I noticed a second fly buzzing around my bedroom. The evil fly had brought a successor, or maybe a twin. I have been unsuccessful, thus far, at getting the second fly...boo.