In the "old days," I loved to have nothing to do. As a college student, I longed for those times when I had no assignments and tons of free time. Once I became a teacher, I looked forward to summer vacation when I could do whatever it was that I wanted to do. I would hunker down with a good book and sunbathe. I would take trips to the beach and watch entire seasons of Lost or 24. Those were good times.
Becoming a mother has changed me. Mothering Thomas is a busy job, but there's a kind of monotonous down-time aspect to it. I often find myself sitting on the floor, rolling cars up and down the hallway while Thomas does the same. It's cute and sweet and he loves it, but we do it everyday and sometimes it's not particularly thrilling to me.
In contrast to my school days, I've found that I like to be busy now. I like to have lots of things to do and to get them done. I enjoy running errands. I like to make meal plans and budget. I like having playgroups and story time at the library. I want to go to the park and to take walks around the neighborhood. I am enamored with cooking and blogging. I love to sew and read and work out at the gym. I truly enjoy studying the scriptures and conference talks and planning my Young Women's lessons.
However, I've also found that it's difficult to work up the motivation to do all these things. As much as I like them and as good as they make me feel, it's so easy to be lazy. Maybe it's a habit formed from years of lazy summer breaks where I was trying to cram a year's worth of relaxing into 2 months.
Thomas isn't going to complain if we don't go to playgroup. He's not going to fuss if I don't clean the bathrooms or vacuum the floors (after all, more cheerios for him if I leave it). He doesn't mind if I don't get in my workout, and Jake won't complain either seeing as how it means he gets more sleep when my 5:30am alarm clock is not waking him up.
In conclusion, I'm trying to be motivated, because it makes me happy. Doing things that make you happy should be simple--common sense, right? But it's so hard. I don't know why, but it just is. Any advice?
3 comments:
I loved this post so much, Britt. I am much happier when I have things going on than when there's nothing planned. (I love the whole Cheerios on the floor thing...my boys like them there too!..haha) You already know this, but I do love a schedule. In my schedule I like to plan for down town as well. The time when it's just me and the boys playing cars or blocks.
I like to schedule everything the night before..(kind of a like a lesson plan)...the teacher in me just won't leave. Errands, activities, play time, etc.
And there's the longest comment...EVER! sorry about that :-)
Your doing a great job being a Mom and Wife. I'm so glad you married Jacob:) As for advice on busyness, I use to always keep a little planner book on the middle of my dining room table. ( It was where I knew I passed by throughout the day) I could see my planned schedule and it usually kept me focused or motivated to see it through.... but it is perfectly ok to have some carefree play days. I miss my stay at home mommy days.
I love this post!. I agree as well, being busy can be fun, but taking care of the house and kids can be very repetitive. I have to have something planned at least once a week, that I do just for myself to keep my sanity. As for motivation, you got me on this one as well. I've struggled with this since high school. But I agree with the previous post, there is a good balance in there somewhere. Being busy and productive is good for you and your kids, as well as those days when you get to relax and recharge are important as well. I would say it's whatever works for you. I think what you are doing is just fine. You are sure more motivated than I am!
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